I was thinking...
For me it's better I don't
romanticize things as much anymore.
I was suffering so much all the time.
I still have lots of dreams, but they're
not in regard to my love life.
It doesn't make me sad,
it's just the way it is.

Is that why you're in a relationship
with somebody who's...
never around?

Yes, obviously, I can't deal with
the day to day life of a relationship.
Yeah, we have, you know,
this exciting time together
and then he leaves and I miss him,
but at least I'm not dying inside.
When someone is always
around me, I'm like suffocating!

No, wait, you just said that
you need to love and be loved...

Yeah, but when I do,
it quickly makes me nauseous!
It's a disaster...
I mean, I'm really happy
only when I'm on my own.
Even being alone...
it's better than...
sitting next to a lover
and feeling lonely.
It's not so easy for me to be a romantic.
You start off that way, and,
after you've been
screwed over a few times...
You... you forget about all your
delusional ideas, and you
just take what comes into your life.
That's not even true, I haven't been...
screwed over, I've just had too many...
bla relationship. They weren't mean,
they cared for me, but...
they were no real...
connection, or excitement.
At least, not from my side.

//

You know...
it's not even that, I was...
I was fine.
Until I read your fucking book!
It stirred shit out from you,
It reminded me how...
genuinely romantic I was,
how I had so much hope in things and...
now it's like...
I don't believe in anything
that relates to love,
I don't feel things for people anymore.
In a way...
I put all my romanticism
into that one night
and I was never able
to feel all this again.
Like...
somehow this night took
things away from me and...
I expressed them to you and
you took them with you!
It made me feel cold,
like if love wasn't for me!


//


Before Sunset